IC Inbox (ryslig)
Jun. 7th, 2020 10:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
improvkingWELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, GODKING. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 013.00.020.01 *** GODKING has joined 013.00.020.01 <GODKING> for questions about Choose the Fog, contact < Fritvælge > <GODKING> for complaints about Choose the Fog, contact < TRUTH1223 > <GODKING> otherwise have at it. | ||||
- GODKING : main handle
- Necrophades : "serious" handle
- understanding : anon/alias (polite persona)
- Fritvælge : for sub-cult business
no subject
Date: 2021-10-12 02:49 am (UTC)Is he taking others' problems onto himself, making them his instead...? Is he neglecting to take care of himself? Both of those things together would be bad. (But...) Not taking care of yourself in a place like this has consequences. That path ends in La Forteresse.
(But...)
You can't meet other people's victory conditions for them. Trying doesn't work. Trying just keeps him from getting what he wants. That...makes sense. He wants to protect Riley from Aunamee, but approaching him has only drawn attention to Atem. Protecting her directly...Mukuro might be better suited to that. And the other monsters seem to have a good read on him already. He might not need to pursue that one quite so closely.
Is his project to become a monster that's feared, whose people are protected by his name alone, who has the advantage because he's causing suffering, taking others' problems and making them his...?
Maybe. It might be. But he doesn't want to give that up. It could be his best chance, at looking out for everyone, all at once...making sure he gets the setting bonuses, the field advantage, and making sure everybody knows what will happen if one of his people is hurt.
And...there's what's coming in October. He's worried about that.
There's everything Ryou has been through.
And there's Yugi.]
...I haven't been prioritizing myself.
I've been looking for a way out, with Yugi. For Yugi. I know it's unlikely that I'd find a way out in four months when others have been working for years, but I thought I knew how to look, in a way other people might not have thought of.
I know rest is important, but...trying everything that could get Yugi out while there was still time...that mattered more.
Now that that's failed, what's left is to keep him from starving himself until he loses control. I'll make his first feeding as easy as I can, but it's still going to hurt him. I don't see a way around that...but, that's a problem I'll make my own, gladly. Dealing with that is more important than...anything I want.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-16 04:37 am (UTC)He sets his head back again, letting his neck rest and turning his gaze to the ceiling. ]
Just don't forget about yourself, too. As long as you're aware of what you are and aren't dealing with...
[ The pharaoh's actually thought about what he's doing, which is probably the best anyone's getting from him for now. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-16 09:06 pm (UTC)(It isn't working here.)
He has people to support him.
(Who he isn't talking to.)
He'll be fine.
(Highly debatable.)
But...if nothing else, he hasn't neglected Yugi. He hasn't not dealt with that. And Ryou's gotten his attention, too...]
....
[He needs to ask Ryou if Ryou's all right with the Ring-Spirit knowing they're romantically involved. That's something Atem doesn't want to get wrong, so...he's going to hold off there.]
Right.
[....wait a second, he brought this up so that they could discuss the Ring-Spirit's problems. How did they get on this??]
Do you really find it easier to...not be aware of everything all the time?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 04:13 am (UTC)Yep. I wish this damn thing would stay put if there's no second driver to take over, instead of just doing who-knows-what with nobody's say-so, but...
[ He trails off for a bit, thinking. ]
...Why are you asking? You've got a reason for this, what is it?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 04:35 pm (UTC)[He supposes...he can't make the Ring-Spirit change his mind about paying attention to what's around him. About not using turning his perception off as a way to deal with things. Atem doesn't like it, but...everyone deals in whatever way works best for them.
He'll address the part that the Ring-Spirit isn't comfortable with. That one seems more productive.]
I've got a laptop program that sends automatic messages to people if you don't check in after a set amount of time. Like a deadman's switch. It was for if someone like Daniel caught me again...and, after Fabius Bile caught and vivisected two more people, I figured out how to make copies. We'd have known sooner that they were in trouble, if they'd had it...
Do you want a copy? In case your body wanders off without you, and you end up in trouble you didn't know you were in, and can't get out of? If it tells me you're missing, then...I'll come find you.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-20 02:08 am (UTC)The Ring-Spirit isn't sure why this question sets him on edge with dread, it shouldn't... right? There's nothing inherently awful here. ...Right? Ugh, there's something about it that sets him in edge enough that he feels the need to figure out what, exactly, is creeping him out.
Is it because it'd alert the Pharaoh directly, and presumably only the - no, that part's kinda sweet of him, particularly considering their everything - oh! Maybe it's -!
What Atem gets to experience is the sight of the previously lazing Ring-Spirit abruptly tensing, followed by silence, followed eventually by the hesitant inquiry: ]
So, are you... checking out now? You said the last time you came to you were going on about deadman's switches...
no subject
Date: 2021-10-20 02:24 am (UTC)--and the Ring-Spirit gets to witness Atem's abject confusion and surprise when the question is absolutely not what he expected.]
What? No! I'm definitely present. Full manual control!
[And, actually, he'd be not just worried but a little bothered if someone came up to him inquiring about his wellbeing and then tuned him out.]
Besides, an important conversation like this is no time to check out. I want to remember your answers! It'd be annoying for me to have to ask you to repeat them later.
whoops this is late
Date: 2021-10-26 06:55 am (UTC)He blinks.
Finally, he asks: ]
Wait, so you can control it?
[ The Most Reassuring Question. ]
npnp
Date: 2021-10-27 10:33 pm (UTC)[NOT REASSURING AT ALL, MISTER RING SPIRIT]
It hasn't happened often enough to really say. But I am focused. It's safe to say you've got my attention!
And I want to know if you want a program for times when you can't control it, and end up in trouble.
[He's focused, all right.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-28 04:24 am (UTC)...Why do you keep assuming I'll get in trouble after checking out? Usually that's a way out of problems...
[ The Ring-Spirit, while uneasy, seems to genuinely be trying to understand something. His reply could be taken as griping, and in a way it kinda is - but also: he doesn't know why he even wants to gripe. That he's trying to piece together. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-28 10:32 am (UTC)[That makes two of them made uneasy by these questions. Atem can't imagine this as a way out of problems, because considering his experiences in Ryslig, if he ended up in a chimney, it wouldn't just fix itself. He'd be in for horror.]
What kinds of situations does it usually happen in?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-28 02:51 pm (UTC)...I don't like where I am, so I leave...?
[ Why do you even have to ask, Pharaoh,, didn't you say you do this too,, what even??
He didn't like being in a chimney, so he checked out again, next time he came to he wasn't in a chimney. Sometimes problems resolve themselves! ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 08:13 pm (UTC)That's really how it works? What if you were killed and didn't remember it?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 09:26 pm (UTC)If I died while checked out, I'll just never know.
Might've already happened, who knows. [ He shrugs . ] I sure don't remember how I got back to Bavan after the thing exploded out of me at that ski lodge. That one's a good candidate for "maybe I died, maybe I checked out" - and showcases how little the distinction matters.
[ He scowls at Atem briefly, then shifts on the couch to get comfortable again, laying his head back down and pointedly closing his eyes. ]
That's just how life works. Shit happens, eventually it stops, everything keeps going, and no one cares.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 09:31 pm (UTC)You're not concerned about losing memories?
[Because this guy is.
The idea of just....not remembering the bad things that happen to you? Tempting. Imagine, if he just didn't have to experience his own suffering. If he could just...make it stop, in a way that mattered to him.
But the cost, and the risk, they're way too high. The cost of potential lost memories, and the risk, of...hurting someone he doesn't want to hurt. Or not helping someone he could have helped. Someone might need him, and he might not be himself enough to realize it. Not acceptable.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 10:07 pm (UTC)[ Atem, you're worried about him, and that's sweet and all, but he is TRYING to REST,, ]
If you're so worried about my memories, maybe you shouldn't have wiped them when you stole both my true names.
[ What's an ancient spirit got to do to be allowed a NAP around here?? ]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-03 03:25 am (UTC)Oh, is that what happened? Sorry, I don't remember, either!
But that's no reason for either of us to play carelessly with the memories we do have.
[Hffffff. If the Ring-Spirit's going to show his fangs, it might not be the most productive approach to try to force this...
When Atem speaks again, it's in a tone of finality. He'll let it go, after this.]
Take a copy, if you want it. Call me, and I'll come.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-04 12:16 am (UTC)The Ring-Spirit isn't sure why, but the whole concept of a program that tells people when he's out is the most upsetting thing he's had to think about in a while. Which considering the current state of his former landlord? Yeah. He knows Atem meant well though, so as long as the subject's actually getting dropped... ]
If I need it, or you, I'll ask.
[ That this is poor phrasing for genuine gratitude does not occur to him. His still-annoyed tone doesn't help either.
He can't truly sleep without using a certain spell on himself, but he can still doze fitfully, and he's drifting into that. He mumbles the rest: ]
...You or him need me, I'll come too... y'can ask...
no subject
Date: 2021-11-04 05:54 pm (UTC)And, what the Ring-Spirit follows it up with confirms that Atem's gut was right. He shuts his own eyes.]
I know.
Thank you.