improvking | IC Inbox (ryslig)

right. sure.

yuo dont have o make me feel better.

[Ohhh, he is super drunk, yeah. He's also exhaustingly distraught about everything, up to and including his hyper-pragmatic boyfriend

--except they aren't, anymore. Boyfriends. They're not that.

Ryou doesn't like that.]

im hungry

hunt wiht me?

[Ryou seems to have forgotten it's broad-ass daylight right now, even for Ryslig standards around this time of year. There's literally eight hours of daylight and yet he's still found them.]

[ Shit, he came on too strong. The fallout isn't as bad as it could be though, that's something. ]

fine, I'll bring it up again when you're already feeling better.

[ An attempt at appeasement it may have been, but the Ring-Spirit hadn't said anything he thought untrue either. ]

it's still light out in Bavan. you want takeout or a ride?

[ Is Ryou actually hungry, or does he just want to get out of the house? Because "you could possess me" never left the table. ...Ok, so, a questionable decision with Ryou in this state, but if he manages to fall out or something the Ring-Spirit figures he'll be able to block the sun with his wings. It's fine, probably. ]

[...The Ring-Spirit might in fact be surprised at Ryou's answer.]

i can psossesss

posssees

go inside

you

then you fly. its fine my powrs arent that strong. you can drive.

oh, I didn't know you could do that. shades, I mean, I thought it was all or noth
you know what that doesn't matter.

sure, I'll be right over.

[ The Ring-Spirit's surprised Ryou would be ok with sitting in the backseat like that, but it feels like something he shouldn't poke at...

He's also assuming Ryou is at the apartment. If Ryou doesn't remember to correct him, that's where he'll be going. ]

Edited (forgot a thing) 2022-11-11 06:54 (UTC)

ah, wait. wait. im nto at the apratment

i m

you know whre the faros academy is? horatio's place.

[If the Ring-Spirit doesn't know, then Ryou will take about 2 minutes to transcribe the address with as few typos as possible, to make it easier. And then, he'll go up on the roof and lay on the ground. Because that's what you do, apparently, when you're drunk and upset.]

[ ...Oh. Well that's concerning. Atem threw him out? Or Ryou left. Either case is concerning. ]

got it. I'll meet you there, then.

[ And the Ring Spirit hurries over to the Faros Academy, only to find Ryou already on the roof. Hopefully in the shade of something...

The Ring-Spirit lands swiftly, but tries not to look too concerned when he approaches. ]

Hey. Was there anywhere in particular you wanted to go...?

[Yet another surprise for the Ring-Spirit, is that while Ryou is still seven feet tall, and has uncanny claw-fingers and taloned feet, they're not currently his normal shade of gray. Rather, his skin's taken a very human coloration. His eyes still glow, of course, and he still has a tail. It's pretty weird, to see it in human skintone, perhaps a little uncanny.

But he's not in pain like this.

He doesn't even care that he's showing off his swapped weakness. It wouldn't matter, at the end of the day. As Atem had put it, Ryou was just a focal point for suffering. Ryslig would find a way to invalidate his trade.

Maybe the sun would start to shine rays of silver instead, just to spite him.]

Oh. That was...kinda fast.

[Ryou doesn't get up. He stays put, although his eyes vaguely track the Ring-Spirit's movements.]

I don't care where we go...I'm just...hungry.

You're the only one who I can trust to handle me...like I am.

[Exceedingly weird thing to say, Ryou. Very concerning...]

[ Ryou's just out in the sunlight, huh. That seems so... after a moment the Ring-Spirit realizes it must be something from Mana. Ryou doesn't need to fear the light anymore, that's good.

But Mana doesn't explain why he wouldn't explain instead of continuing to play along that he had all the usual shades issues... or why Ryou is just lying there either, or why he's talking like this. "Handle him like he is"?? The Ring-Spirit can't keep the concern out of his expression, despite his efforts. ]

I... alright.

[ He doesn't know what to do. ]

...Before we go. Could... would you tell me what happened?

[ He's careful to make sure that his tone is a question, not a demand. If Ryou refuses, he'll let things go for now. He doesn't want to push too hard. Not when everything's so weird. ]

It's okay. You don't have to try so hard for me.

[Ryou says it plainly. He can tell the Ring-Spirit's trying to handle him gently. There's absolutely no need for it--not anymore.

Maybe there'd never been a need, and Ryou had tried to change the Ring-Spirit too much, to make him tolerable.

No more. Never again.]

Atem and I aren't...I don't think we're together anymore? H-haha...I think we're done. He can't...be around me. He did some fucked up things to help me, and--and I'm not...

[Ryou swallows hard, struggling to continue. After a moment, he manages.]

I'm cursed to suffer, and make others suffer with me. He gave up a lot. For me. And...n-now, he's tired of it. He got hurt, and hurt others, and I couldn't even use my powers in Felfri so...y'know.

He's done with me.

But you're okay. You always handled me. So...it'll be fine. When you're ready...we can go.

[ ...Ryou doesn't want the kid gloves, ok, he. can probably do that. He can't help worrying that he's fucking up when he's doing something that matters, and they're things that do matter, no matter what Ryou might say. But he can be more abrasive, it come naturally enough, surely,,

Ah. Ryou and Atem broke up - again. This time because

The Ring-Spirit is standing very still. Maybe he's trembling a little, but it's not enough to matter, he. is. still. His avian toes curl reflexively, digging into the roof; he can't stop that, shit. ]

[ Maybe he can't stand so still after all. He raggedly runs his talons through his hair/feathers a few times, only stopping once he notices the blood they begin sporting. This is after he's nicked his scalp enough for the blood to also show all too well as it intermingles with his white hair and feathers. He can kinda feel it too, hot and sticky. ]

[ Then he's down, sitting like a bird with his legs folded up beneath him - and if Ryou doesn't fight it or go intangible, he's getting hugged, tightly. Regardless of hug success, the Ring-Spirit is quite definitively trembling now. Maybe Ryou can be calm, or maybe he already got it out of his system, but the Ring-Spirit has never been good at "calm". He's only doing as well as he is because he's not entirely sure what he's feeling just yet. ]

You're... you're right I won't leave. [ That's what Ryou's saying, right? because that's what the Ring-Spirit's hearing. ] I won't abandon you. You're ḿ̶̙̚y̶̝͇̬̟͐͌̍ ̵͖̪̭̦̉̾̿́f̴̬̙̎͗̂̉a̴̗̮̺̜̅̓m̷̨̡̥̲̂̈͠ĩ̴͙̞l̸͈̲̬͐͑̿y̵̘͆̆͗̊.

[ This is as well as he's prepared to take these developments, Ryou. ]

Edited (formatting) 2022-11-11 09:19 (UTC)

[The Ring-Spirit is the only person Ryou can feel secure from drawing comfort from.

Even the fact that he's scratched open a bleeding wound on his head that he doesn't seem to notice is proof positive that...if Ryou just found a way to nestle himself into the Ring-Spirit's heart in a reverse of how they'd always existed...then people would be safe. Before, they weren't safe because the Ring-Spirit had a goal in mind, and he killed and hurt whoever was in his way.

But now...it's an alright trait, all things considered. So, Ryou allows the hug, rather than pushing his partner away. Even hazed in his own inebriation though, he can't help but hug back, and quietly murmur--]

I want to be inside your heart.

[--before going intangible and intending to try exactly that. Hard to remember that he doesn't care for possession that much.

...It doesn't matter. This is nothing but a role reversal, so that Ryou can finally feel as if he's able to be contained safely.

Unfortunately...it means that as soon as Ryou does possess the Ring-Spirit, all of his anguish and self-hatred is going to wash over the other monster, his other self.

It might not be nice...but that's the power of a shared bond. Ryou will nest within the Ring-Spirit, like an itching, painful parasite. Because that's it, isn't it? that's what he is.]

[ The Ring-Spirit's arms close around himself as Ryou turns intangible and slips inside. He continues to hug himself for a moment, gasping when the wave of despair and self-loathing crashes against his own wall of fury, momentarily knocking him out of the latter. None of it's quite new to the Ring-Spirit, not even the self-directed nature of the hatred. However, he hasn't felt so hopeless in... at least a few months? something like that, he hadn't exactly been tracking his mood. He can also tell these emotions aren't his, not with the way they hit. ]

Edited 2022-11-12 10:26 (UTC)

[ It hurts on another level to know that this is how Ryou feels, that he's ever felt this low. The Ring-Spirit shudders, drawing an unsteady breath. Finally he unwraps his arms from around himself and briefly pats his chest. ]

I've got you... I've got you...

[ He just hopes that if he's feeling this, it means Ryou isn't, if only for a little while... ]

[ Right now the Ring-Spirit wants nothing so much as to curl up inside his wings and hide in a corner. ...But Ryou had said he was hungry, hadn't he? Ryou needs to feed. It's probably "better" somehow, in some abstract way, to keep himself busy rather than dwelling on his newly acquired misery... Ryou, at least, deserves to be distracted, not to simply wallow but with company.

So he stands slowly, and walks to the edge of the roof, where he looks out over the city. He turns to usual hunting grounds at first; then decides no, he doesn't feel like chasing prey, he just wants food. The humans in his usual hunting grounds know to run, know that if they made the chase fun enough he might decide to let them go... so he turns elsewhere. He'll go somewhere less complicated. ]

Edited 2022-11-12 10:41 (UTC)

[ Ryou's within him, he can sense that much. He's not alone in this body anymore. He rests a hand over his heart. They're together again...

Before taking off, he pauses to see if Ryou has anything further to add. He wonders absently if they can talk in their minds like they used to, or if Ryou would have to borrow his mouth to speak aloud. ]

[It's pretty kind of the Ring-Spirit to hope that Ryou isn't feeling it, but there's a brief moment, when he seizes control of the spirit's body long enough to speak, which dispels it.]

Sorry...it must be miserable with me like this. I would turn it off if I could. Tried drinking, but...still didn't help.

[The inebriation at least, doesn't seem to spread through their connection in a way that would affect the Ring-Spirit. Ryou just sounds out of it, and there's a bit of drowsiness...but it's not much.

Mostly it's the despair, the self-hate, and also Ryou's hunger, which is legitimate. But regardless, Ryou's full possession skills are only used to speak--they can't share mental thoughts, so it has to be that way.

Otherwise, he stays inside, nestled in his other self's body like a scared, hiding cat.]

[ Ah, Ryou's still feeling it himself then. That sucks. The Ring-Spirit fights back a sigh, grimacing as he takes flight.

They can't communicate mentally... a pity, though Ryou's silent presence still beats his complete absence. The Ring-Spirit tries to focus on that feeling without letting himself get distracted from actually hunting. ]

Don't worry about it... if you figure out some way to shrug it off onto me enirely for a while, go for it. You could use the break.

[ His voice comes out rough and scratchy as he scans the streets far below, keeping half an eye out for a likely target.

Ryou had been able to steal the Ring-Spirit's emotional pain once before; it really isn't fair shades can take pain but not offload their own. ]

Sorry. It only works the other way.

[Funny, they were just about thinking the same thing. But no, Ryou can't push his pain out completely onto others. It just leeches out, shared and festering. Just like now.]

You have...really good eyes. You really...you're...

[Ryou trails off, and doesn't finish that thought. He releases his control completely on the Ring-Spirit and goes silent after that. What he was going to say, it would have made the spirit angry. And seeing as he's the only one who can be trusted to handle Ryou, then...he doesn't want to chase his last person away.

His loneliness bleeds out unbidden. It's enough to make Ryou cry, but probably not the Ring-Spirit. As long as Ryou stays out of the driver's seat...it'll be fine. They'll be okay.]

Ho ho ho! Your Secret Santa giftee is ELSA, no last name. Goes by "queenoficeolation" on the network.

Buy or make Elsa a (nice) gift by December 26, or Santa will come down your chimney and box your ears.

If you need more information, contact me C/O Hawkeye Pierce at Crowe Clinic, and I'll delegate him to tell you to do your own research.

[ His own research, the name "Elsa". Hm.

...Wait, didn't a "queenoficeolation" talk up her bakery a few times on those "welcome to Ryslig" posts? Yeah, he's remembering now... Well then, looks like the Ring-Spirit's off to (festively) stake out a bakery.

Who the hell even signed him up for this, was it Altair? Is this something Altair would do?? ]

[ Hm? The Ring-Spirit isn't sure why Ryou trails off like that. His eyes...? ]

...Yeah, Harpies have very keen eyesight.

[ That's what Ryou's talking about, right?

Then the swell of sheer loneliness that hits the Ring-Spirit makes him stutter in his flight with a gasp. It doesn't bring tears, no - but it's far too close to what the Ring-Spirit had felt during that period directly after those dice shattered. It calls up an echo of the cold horror he'd felt while he was alone in the dark again, certain his only host was gone, that he'd broken something he needed, something... someone he... wanted to keep... and -

Fuck.

Well, the Ring-Spirit isn't about to cry, but he will be sick if he doesn't land for a sec here. He quickly dives toward another building's roof so he can just. steady himself a bit. catch his breath. Focus on not being sick.

He lands abruptly, hard, catching himself enough to stumble onto hands and (bird) knees. And then he stays like that, wings still spread as he stares unseeingly at the roof's surface, focused solely on breathing.

It's not the most reassuring reaction, ]

[Ryou startles a bit, when he realizes that the Ring-Spirit has gotten unsteady in his flight patterns. No, no no...what has he done now?

He feels...oh, he doesn't feel good. The Ring-Spirit mustn't either.

Ryou takes over again, breathing deeply for them, and drawing the emotional weight of everything back into himself. It's like he says...it works one way. He can either share his own emotional pain...or take it all back, including that which isn't his to begin with.

He chooses to take it back, to draw it into his heart and let out a shuddering, harsh breath. It hurts...but it might ease the Ring-Spirit's panic.]

I-I'm sorry, I--I should have...not let you feel all that. It must have been awful, right?

I can keep it, I...h-hhhhh!

[Now he's the one feeling panicked and ill, his mind racing. He brings their wings around, encasing their form, hiding it. He doesn't really care too much if anyone sees, they're on a roof. Screw it.]

I didn't mean to hurt you. But it's all I can do, is hurt others.

[Because he's cursed to push his suffering on others, to drive them mad and push them away.]

[ As the Ring-Spirit's mind clears again, he realizes what Ryou must be doing - and he doesn't panic, because right now he can't do that, but boy he sure would if he still had that ability. Instead, he scratches weakly at his chest, as if he could physically pull the feelings back out of Ryou. ]

No, don't - y-you didn't hurt me, you just, reminded - I mean I remembered -

[ It's very strange to be able to think so dispassionately even while he's stumbling over what to say that could fix this. But right now what matters is emphasizing that none of this is Ryou's fault, and that especially means not bringing up the dice thing again. ]

- I just. remembered, how I'd felt after hurting you, once, and - so it's not your fault. It's not your fault I went and did something to you that I was going to regret, right?

Now just give it back. Please. Please don't do this.

[ He doesn't even have to think about it. The "please"s spill out unbidden.

While the Ring-Spirit's eyes are wide with the panic he can't feel, their breath is only labored if Ryou's still having problems with it. The Ring-Spirit doesn't try to resist their curling up into a feather ball - they probably should have just done that to begin with, huh - he simply focuses on trying to reason with the shade. ]

Edited (minor rephase) 2022-12-14 05:10 (UTC)

IC Inbox (ryslig)

<WhiteWizard>

<GODKING>

<WhiteWizard>

<GODKING>

no subject

<GODKING> -> action

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/3

2/3 cw: minor self harm, blood

3/3

cw; possession, self-hate, unhealthy codependent thoughts, despair??? do i warn for despair?

1/?

2/?

3/4

4/4

no subject

no subject

no subject

<KrisKringle>

no subject

[cw: panic attack? I'm pretty sure this is a panic attack]

no subject

no subject

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, GODKING. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 013.00.020.01 * GODKING has joined 013.00.020.01 <GODKING> for questions about Choose the Fog, contact < Fritvælge > <GODKING> for complaints about Choose the Fog, contact < TRUTH1223 > <GODKING>** otherwise have at it.