the Ring-Spirit (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
improvking) wrote2020-06-07 10:53 pm
improvking) wrote2020-06-07 10:53 pm
Entry tags:
IC Inbox (ryslig)
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, GODKING. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 013.00.020.01 *** GODKING has joined 013.00.020.01 <GODKING> for questions about Choose the Fog, contact < Fritvælge > <GODKING> for complaints about Choose the Fog, contact < TRUTH1223 > <GODKING> otherwise have at it. | ||||
- GODKING : main handle
- Necrophades : "serious" handle
- understanding : anon/alias (polite persona)
- Fritvælge : for sub-cult business
<GODKING>
we met.
[ Wow so much information. ]
<Player1>
How did it go? Ryou's seemed fine, but...
[But they both know Ryou can keep awful things shut up inside and hidden. These two hurt each other when they're in the same place...they're all raw, bleeding edges, even though they both want to have a relationship...so, he asks:]
Nothing too bad happened, right?
<GODKING>
I don't know.
[ There's a pause, as the Ring-Spirit considers leaving it at that. ]
he thinks he doesn't matter to me
I can see why, it makes more sense than the truth, but it hurts
[ The Ring-Spirit's own gut instinct says the correct reply is "nobody cares, you stupid bastard" - it's his own fault, he knows, he - but it still hurts. He doesn't know what to do with that. ]
<Player1>
Ryou's been hurt very, very badly, over what sounds like a significant period of time. Atem's certain that these two don't know how to not hurt one another, with the kind of painful history they have; they're all sharp edges and open wounds.
But that doesn't mean Atem doesn't care what happens to them. The first question, then, is...]
Do you want to change that? Or leave things the way they are?
[Because it'll take work. Does it hurt badly enough, is it something RS wants to change enough, to make the effort? If not, then any advice is just hot air.]
<GODKING>
I do want to change it
but everything I do makes it worse
I'll make it worse
I always make it worse
<Player1>
What do you usually do?
<GODKING>
not helping *enough* at least
[ ...A more specific question might or might not get a more specific answer. ]
<Player1>
Let me ask a different question. What have you tried so far to show him that he matters to you?
<GODKING> [cw: mention of suicide, reference to sorta suicidal ideation]
in general?
not
not as much as I could. it's my own fault, I know.
early on, I put his friends' souls into their gaming minis, but
he couldn't hear me yet, so
but also I don't think he would've liked it even if I *had* been able to tell him, apparently that's bad??
you have all their souls together someplace easy to protect and take with you wherever you go, I don't
but yeah he didn't like it
and then after he fucking *blew up his soul* I
I was afraid to try things?? he's fucking... fragile or volatile or both i don't know
*here*
I've
tried talking? about Monster World or advice or whatever, and trying to cheer him up but I suck at it
he's got a standing offer to take my soul if he needs help with feeding, but the only time he tried *anything* he freaked himself out???
[ Friendship Advice: Hardmode has been activated. ]
<Player1>
...
Luckily, Atem already knew about the souls-in-miniatures thing from a birthday King's Game, but dang, buddy, that's. That's some wild logic.
But he's not sure "fragile" and "volatile" are the right words to describe Ryou. "Self-sacrificing," "sensitive," and "passive aggressive," sure, but...]
I heard about that.
Listen...
I wouldn't call him either of those things. He's survived too much to be fragile, and he's forgiven too much to be volatile. But you two have the kind of history that's like a minefield. Anything you say to each other runs the risk of setting off an old landmine!
Let's see...how can I put this...
How well would you say you understand his perspective? What he DOES want? Why he acts how he does?
<GODKING>
"landmine" = "touch it wrong and it explodes" = "fragile and volatile"
[ The rest of it, though? The actually important points? ]
I lived in his head, and I know fuck-all about why he does anything.
I don't understand him.
I don't know if I'm *able* to.
[ Sure, he'd like to, but... at this point his track record isn't exactly filling him with optimism. ]
<Player1>
If you don't have the capacity to understand him, though, then that'll make this much more difficult. You'll have to flag the mines to remember where they are after you set them off, instead of predicting them.
I had all of Yugi's memories, so it was easy to understand what was important to him, what he wanted to protect...but it's possible to figure it out without that, as long as you pay attention! Ryou Bakura is curious, brave, and tends to get lonely. He doesn't like being left out or left behind, but that's happened much too often, so feeling like people want him around makes him happy. What he wants is to be able to help the people who matter to him, but the way he's been equipped to do it has involved hurting himself. That's what he's used to, so he's more willing to do it than most...and when his friends are upset that he got hurt, he feels bad for worrying them! But he's only got tools like pain sharing and soul shattering at his disposal.
If I were you, and I wanted to show him he mattered to me, I'd look for ways to get him what he wants -- not what you would want, or what you think he should want, that's important -- and restore it to him if he loses it. Fight for him, not for you! And don't expect anything back. You're supporting him, not bargaining -- the object is for HIM to be happy.
Does that make sense?