improvking | IC Inbox (ryslig)

[ The Ring-Spirit can't think of a good counterargument. There probably is one, but the Ring-Spirit's never been good at finding... well, the good in existential issues. What he knows is "burn it, burn it all" and the much more recent, largely unexplored field of "no wait I don't want to burn this part actually and I can't safely torch the rest".

He doesn't mind the way Ryou scrunches their body up or that he's nicking their scalp - the Ring-Spirit still does it himself if he gets too distracted, his talons are awkward, it's not a big deal - he just wishes he could do something, anything, that actually helped.

Ha. Another case of him and Ryou displaying the same problem traits, he supposes. After all, it was his own refusal to back down that had forced Ryou's hand because he wouldn't back down, which meant Ryou shattered his soul, which has proceeded to be the precise cause of their current predicament and... it's all so funny, hilarious even, in a miserable sort of way.

The Ring-Spirit gives a quiet, resigned sigh. ]

It's ok. I already told you, if you could, to put all of it on me. I want to help you, even if it hurts.

[ . . . ]

...You're one of the only things I care about. The only things that make existence worth anything to me.

I know you don't believe me, but you're one of the only good things, good people, I've ever come across. You try so hard... hell, even now, despite how low you already feel, you're trying to help me of all creatures.

I'm poisonous by my very nature... but... I want to help you... please let me try.

Edited (fixing accidental double negative) 2022-12-14 06:18 (UTC)

[Ryou shakes their head slowly, letting out a breathy chuckle.]

H-haha...I don't try hard enough. If I did, then maybe...things would be different.

[He doesn't want to let the Ring-Spirit feel this. He hates that the Ring-Spirit insists on it, because at the end of the day, Ryou won't deny him long. He despises possessing others on a normal day, and only does it with consent. His spirit isn't consenting to it if he doesn't want his emotions taken though.

And that all aside...he's expressing how much he appreciates Ryou for being exactly who he is. Something that, until recently, Ryou thought Atem appreciated him for. He thought Atem saw him...but all he really saw was the ugly part that Ryou couldn't control. The part that Ryou had been blind to see until now.

Nonetheless...the Ring-Spirit wants that pain. So, Ryou releases his pain-sharing, feeding it all back slowly, gradually, until they're both stuck feeling fear, anxiety, and despair.]

I wish you could stop caring about me so much as you do. Your life would be far easier...and maybe you didn't make me happy, but you found a life here...one that isn't just about vengeance, or pain.

How could you want to feel this? I wouldn't. No one would...

[ Fed back slowly like this, the weight is easier to bear. It's certainly less of a shock to the system. None of it's entirely new to the Ring-Spirit, although the specific blending of despair and anxiety is still unpleasantly novel. Typically his anxiety comes tied to hope...

He shudders, pulling his wings closer around them, and lets out a shaky, breathy laugh of his own. ]

H-hahah... I only found that life because of you. Before you said it, before I realized you were right, that you and I, that we're family - I'd fully intended to go right back to destroying everything as soon as we got home. That's why I finally tried to tell you then, to not let me go home... I finally wanted to not hurt you more than I wanted to hurt everyone else. Finally realized it.

[ The Ring-Spirit doesn't fight to open their eyes, but he does try to smile weakly. ]

This? It's... I know how this feels. It's nothing new. Mine's usually angrier, that's all.

[ He swallows, struggling to fight through their shared misery. ]

I know these feelings, I've felt it all before, for years - thousands of them. And if I can't stop you from feeling it, at least I can ensure you're not alone with it.

Edited (clarity) 2022-12-14 15:51 (UTC)

[Ryou lets the Ring-Spirit take full control of their body again, nesting in his partner's heart like the intruder that he is...but selfishly, he's glad to be here. When everything hurts...when you know you're hopeless...it's good to have someone at your side.]

Maybe...it would be better, if you destroyed everything.

[It's a whisper that nearly dies on their tongue, but Ryou forces it out anyway.]

When we go home, if we ever do...I can't have the same things here. I'll go back, and be no one's best friend.

[Ryou hadn't been upset about that before, but he finds himself feeling particularly hurt about it now, about knowing that his friends didn't want to know his hopes and dreams, like he had listened to theirs. Knowing that his father only reached out now that there wasn't a cursed artifact creating distance between them, but that it would never be the same.

And worst of all, he'd leave part of his heart here, because even if they fought, even if it was over...Atem mattered to him so much that Ryou was sure his heart wouldn't be able to handle such a separation.]

I'm tired, Spirit. I'm tired of...everything.

[ As much as the Ring-Spirit wishes he had some sort of hope to offer... he has no idea what would even count. It's not like he doesn't still wish ill on the world after all, he's just trying, selfishly in his mind, to shield specific bits of it.

So he simply sighs heavily, and hugs their (his?) wings closer around them. ]

...I know.

I know.

[ It's quiet, sad; weary with understanding, and with acceptance. While he still doesn't intend to change his mind about the apocalypse again... he knows where Ryou's coming from, emotionally; and he agrees with him, philosophically.

The Ring-Spirit has no hope to offer, but he is here. Being here might be all he can do, but by fucking hell he's a-gonna. No one can tear him away from Ryou as long as he needs company. And so he sits there for a while in silence. ]

[ ...Though, as miserable as they are, he slowly becomes just numb enough to it to note Ryou is hungry. He knows they can't hunt the way they are.

But also that they don't have to, so long as the Ring-Spirit can bear to move; he tests this, stretching a little one way, then a little more another - yeah, given a tad more time, he'll be able to get them there. After, they can collapse again. ]

I could grab us someone from Dyster to eat. That's no effort.

[ What with the Dyster-ites being so... into the idea. Normally that creeps the Ring-Spirit out, but he has to admit it's convenient in certain circumstances. ]

Edited (I forgot the cw,) 2023-02-27 05:39 (UTC)

[The agreement, the sigh...it somehow brings comfort to Ryou. He's not sure if the Ring-Spirit means to, but it still does. The misery doesn't go away, but there is a shift in it, maybe a small amount of acceptance...?

Hard to say. One thing's for certain though--Ryou is marginally less inebriated right now, and the hunger is really starting to creep up on him more. Hence, when the Ring-Spirit mentions Dyster and the neverending supply of food, Ryou can't help but swallow, hard.

Well, that had been the whole point of calling his partner to him anyway, hadn't it?

...Oh, okay, maybe not the whole point, but at least some of it.]

That...yes. That's fine.

[At least it's a step in a semi-positive direction. Ryou's still pretty upset, but...focusing on something else should help.]

I'll...I'll have to stop possessing you when we find someone.

[ Sometimes simply being accepted is more comforting than being reassured. The Ring-Spirit hadn't known what else to do, but he's relieved that he seems to have done something right.

When Ryou speaks, the Ring-Spirit hums in response. ]

Mn... alright. You just can step back in when you're done, if you still want to ride.

[ No need to ask again! ]

After that... well, we can decide then. But I do have a room in Dyster - it's underground, dark and quiet - if you want, we can hole up there for however long; I don't mind.

[ The Ring-Spirit gets them up slowly, stretching out stiff muscles as he goes. Once up, he feels for the Dyster key in his pocket and takes a look around; did he land them on a rooftop with a door somewhere? They need a door for the key to work. ]

[Ryou nods their head, a simple affirmative. He'll let the Ring-Spirit figure it out, but his eyes do flick about momentarily to check for a door, just in case.

Yeah...there's one up here. Honestly a good thing, because Ryou's not sure if they're ready for another flight so soon after a feelings share. At least, he isn't...]

Are you hungry? I can't tell, I can only feel mine.

[Unless he is feeling the Ring-Spirit's hunger as well and just can't parse the difference, but it's hard to tell, if that's the case.]

[ The Ring-Spirit has to think about the question, because he's not sure himself at first - he can feel hunger, but is it his or Ryou's? It only takes a moment for some particular instinct to kick in though, and tell him he won't need to feed for a while still. It's only Ryou's hunger he feels right now. ]

Mm, I'm good. If you need someone to finish what's left I could eat - [ or, wait, is that why Ryou's asking? ] - or, if you don't have to kill to feed, I don't have to finish them off either, uh. ...Why?

[ He notices the door too then, and makes for it, feeling a sense of relief that it might offer an out for an oddly awkward moment (really, considering how heavy the rest of this little jaunt out has been, why is being asked if he's hungry what feels awkward,,) ]

It's not important, I just...

[Ryou trails off, glancing down with their shared eyes once the Ring-Spirit stops at the door. It's probably a distracting motion.

Very much like the distraction of their vocal timbre altering with each back-and-forth. The Ring-Spirit, after all, is just in a facsimile of Ryou's body. That's how it'd always been--Ryou's voice, twisted into something colder, often even crueler.

He doesn't think of it in those kinds of terms much anymore, but there's still a part of him deep down that remembers and fears. Buried deep, so no one can feel it but himself.

All of that is, of course, irrelevant to the reason he'd asked in the first place.]

I wanted to make sure that you know...I could share. That's all. Though, I don't have to kill to feed. It's just harder sometimes. I don't always get it right.

[ The sudden glance down, the reminder he's not alone in this body - it's not nearly as distracting for the Ring-Spirit as it could be. It's more reassuring than anything else; for him, body-sharing is his (old, admittedly) normal, it's being separate that's strange and disquieting. If he notices Ryou's deeply rooted fear, he mistakes it for something else.

He smiles crookedly, hoping to share the comfort he's feeling. When he replies, his voice is still a colder version of Ryou's - but there's also a warmth to it. A different warmth from Ryou's own, something new from the last time they'd shared a body. ]

Don't worry. I'll take care of whatever I need to - whether it's leftovers, or talking down someone sorely disappointed that they weren't eaten~. H-heheheh...

[ If the chuckle sounds a tad unhinged, well - he can only change so much.

He steps into Dyster before either of them can dither in the doorway further. ]

[The smile doesn't quite slip off their face...partly because the Ring-Spirit is curbing Ryou's negative feelings somewhat, just by being who he is.

And by sharing some more positive associations. The Ring-Spirit likes this connection...and it translates across to Ryou through their bond. The way he speaks...even with that unsettling laughter that bubbles up in their chest, it can never be the same as things back home.

Hell, Ryou would never have been able to feel this anyway. Unlike Yugi and Atem, he was never left any control. It was all or nothing.

So, he doesn't pull back the smile, because it's different. He lets it linger because the Ring-Spirit is offering to clean up whatever mess Ryou leaves. And...as soon as they're in Dyster, Ryou lets out a sigh of utter relief, reveling in the sensation of his god's domain closing in around him. Their feathers fluff up contentedly, despite Ryou not taking full control from the spirit yet.

For just a moment...he doesn't feel like he's cursed. Sad, perhaps. But...better than knowing he's no good and having to accept it.]

I'll try not to make you work too hard...

[ The Ring-Spirit can sense the subtle shift in their feedback loop - he's not sure if it's because of anything he's said, or simply because of the comfort of being within the safety of Dyster, but he's pleased to note the shift regardless of cause.

As for Ryou's comment: ]

H-heh... unnecessary, but appreciated~.

[ He takes a moment to look around, wanting to be certain he's found a human Dysterite and not merely a human-looking monster Fog-follower... Fortunately the Dysterites tend to congregate together near the central bonfire, so they're simple enough to locate.

He interrupts one dancing with a quick tap on the shoulder. ]

...My friend's hungry, you mind?

IC Inbox (ryslig)

[cw: mention of suicide]

cw self-hate all over

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crying because this is so old, so sorry...

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2/2 [cw: mention of cannibalism and vore]

this thread sure is goin places lol

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