[Ryou can't help but smile wryly himself, upon reading all of that. But even as he does...his fingers twitch in a modicum of movement under the Ring-Spirit's hold. Acknowledgement, perhaps. He doesn't mind the contact at all.]
You know me well enough, Spirit. You know...I regret a great many things.
[He breathes out a slow, achingly heavy breath.]
I told Atem I wouldn't regret this. For the most part I don't, but...it's hard not to feel as if all I've done is cause pain to people who don't really deserve it. I know that things could have been worse, and that some enjoyed their time as a shade. It's not all bad.
I just can't stop fully being who I am and pretending that it didn't affect me, I suppose. Or...pretend that I enjoyed hurting my friends.
[Or, though he doesn't say it aloud, pretend that death didn't hurt every time it happened.]
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Date: 2023-03-04 09:28 am (UTC)You know me well enough, Spirit. You know...I regret a great many things.
[He breathes out a slow, achingly heavy breath.]
I told Atem I wouldn't regret this. For the most part I don't, but...it's hard not to feel as if all I've done is cause pain to people who don't really deserve it. I know that things could have been worse, and that some enjoyed their time as a shade. It's not all bad.
I just can't stop fully being who I am and pretending that it didn't affect me, I suppose. Or...pretend that I enjoyed hurting my friends.
[Or, though he doesn't say it aloud, pretend that death didn't hurt every time it happened.]