improvking | IC Inbox (ryslig)

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IC Inbox (ryslig)

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, GODKING. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 013.00.020.01 * GODKING has joined 013.00.020.01 <GODKING> for questions about Choose the Fog, contact < Fritvælge > <GODKING> for complaints about Choose the Fog, contact < TRUTH1223 > <GODKING>** otherwise have at it.

- GODKING : main handle
- Necrophades : "serious" handle
- understanding : anon/alias (polite persona)
- Fritvælge : for sub-cult business

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[ Good, good. No one should use Richard's scale. ~~including richard,,~~ ]

what do you mean "face he used to have"? he got hit the "gotta be a human to become a whatever" bullshit too?

[ The armor wasn't displayed in Lucius' exhibit - the Ring-Spirit hasn't actually seen the full Lucius Collection. ]

I don't know if you've been in contact with Ryou since the fog began on the 4th, but if you haven't seen him...he's feeling better.

[Literally better at feeling.]

[ . . . ]

we met.

[ Wow so much information. ]

[Wait, really? But Ryou's seemed...all right....]

How did it go? Ryou's seemed fine, but...

[But they both know Ryou can keep awful things shut up inside and hidden. These two hurt each other when they're in the same place...they're all raw, bleeding edges, even though they both want to have a relationship...so, he asks:]

Nothing too bad happened, right?

[ . . . . . ]

I don't know.

[ There's a pause, as the Ring-Spirit considers leaving it at that. ]

he thinks he doesn't matter to me
I can see why, it makes more sense than the truth, but it hurts

[ The Ring-Spirit's own gut instinct says the correct reply is "nobody cares, you stupid bastard" - it's his own fault, he knows, he - but it still hurts. He doesn't know what to do with that. ]

[No, Atem believes that. After the way this guy had acted when Ryou'd lost his capacity to feel, after the things he'd said about Ryou, both in messages and in person...he doesn't doubt it.

Ryou's been hurt very, very badly, over what sounds like a significant period of time. Atem's certain that these two don't know how to not hurt one another, with the kind of painful history they have; they're all sharp edges and open wounds.

But that doesn't mean Atem doesn't care what happens to them. The first question, then, is...]

Do you want to change that? Or leave things the way they are?

[Because it'll take work. Does it hurt badly enough, is it something RS wants to change enough, to make the effort? If not, then any advice is just hot air.]

[ It... takes the Ring-Spirit a bit to figure out a response that can actually be, like, read, but, ]

I do want to change it
but everything I do makes it worse
I'll make it worse
I always make it worse

[Alright, not a bad place to start, so, let's troubleshoot. He feels like he knows Ryou pretty well, so...]

What do you usually do?

[Hey there. It's like 3pm Ryou should be sleeping since he's not diurnal anymore, but he has pressing concerns and wants a distraction after nightmares.

Also Atem is sleeping post cringe.]

hey spirit.

does it bother you that i call you that? I've just had a think about it and if i don't want you to call me landlord anymore then should I do something different?

Also this is a weird question and you're within your rights to say no but can you buy me something if i push solars underm y apartment door?

[There's a pause.]

*under my

The days are too long.

Edited (specify a month you waffle) 2021-07-04 05:19 (UTC)

I don't care what you call me. I'll answer to anything, spirit works.

[ There's a pause as he stops and actually thinks on it a little more. ]

if you want something else to use, sometimes people call me Richard.
but
actually I think I like you calling me spirit.

[ Maybe Ryou had hated having someone in his head, but the Ring-Spirit... hates being alone in his. He's figuring himself out more these days, but that doesn't make him miss being in the backseat any less. ]

I don't mind running errands, but I have no idea where you live.

[ And sure had assumed that was intentional! If it's not... then this situation is hilarious. ]

good because I'm not calling you godking so

also richard. really? you must be joking? yes well i'll stick with Spirit for now. Perhaps we can workshop later.

[Later when he's twice as tired, he might just start calling him Dick on purpose. Because he is snorting on his side of the screen, but to be fair, he's very tired...]

Oh. right yes well. that was

On purpose.

but 38-8, apartment 806. If you don't know where that is it is also fine. I don't have directions right now, and I can't go outside. so actually this was probably a bad idea.

also don't be weird about having my address? sorry is that rude?

[Ryou for fuck's sake.]

I don't know! exist? talk? emote? I'm trying to cut back on the emote one but that isn't helping
not helping *enough* at least

[ ...A more specific question might or might not get a more specific answer. ]

[........yeah he's gonna need to narrow this down.]

Let me ask a different question. What have you tried so far to show him that he matters to you?

[ ...Ah. ]

in general?
not
not as much as I could. it's my own fault, I know.

early on, I put his friends' souls into their gaming minis, but
he couldn't hear me yet, so
but also I don't think he would've liked it even if I *had* been able to tell him, apparently that's bad??
you have all their souls together someplace easy to protect and take with you wherever you go, I don't
but yeah he didn't like it

and then after he fucking *blew up his soul* I
I was afraid to try things?? he's fucking... fragile or volatile or both i don't know

*here*
I've
tried talking? about Monster World or advice or whatever, and trying to cheer him up but I suck at it
he's got a standing offer to take my soul if he needs help with feeding, but the only time he tried *anything* he freaked himself out???

[ Friendship Advice: Hardmode has been activated. ]

Edited 2021-07-05 03:30 (UTC)

[...

...

Luckily, Atem already knew about the souls-in-miniatures thing from a birthday King's Game, but dang, buddy, that's. That's some wild logic.

But he's not sure "fragile" and "volatile" are the right words to describe Ryou. "Self-sacrificing," "sensitive," and "passive aggressive," sure, but...]

I heard about that.
Listen...
I wouldn't call him either of those things. He's survived too much to be fragile, and he's forgiven too much to be volatile. But you two have the kind of history that's like a minefield. Anything you say to each other runs the risk of setting off an old landmine!
Let's see...how can I put this...
How well would you say you understand his perspective? What he DOES want? Why he acts how he does?

how is that not what I just said?
"landmine" = "touch it wrong and it explodes" = "fragile and volatile"

[ The rest of it, though? The actually important points? ]

I lived in his head, and I know fuck-all about why he does anything.
I don't understand him.
I don't know if I'm *able* to.

[ Sure, he'd like to, but... at this point his track record isn't exactly filling him with optimism. ]

Because you're the only one who sets them off. Everyone else can go over the mines without worrying, unless they're deliberately looking for them, and even then they have to search, but you do it by accident. I don't mean to be cruel, but that's the situation you're in!

If you don't have the capacity to understand him, though, then that'll make this much more difficult. You'll have to flag the mines to remember where they are after you set them off, instead of predicting them.

I had all of Yugi's memories, so it was easy to understand what was important to him, what he wanted to protect...but it's possible to figure it out without that, as long as you pay attention! Ryou Bakura is curious, brave, and tends to get lonely. He doesn't like being left out or left behind, but that's happened much too often, so feeling like people want him around makes him happy. What he wants is to be able to help the people who matter to him, but the way he's been equipped to do it has involved hurting himself. That's what he's used to, so he's more willing to do it than most...and when his friends are upset that he got hurt, he feels bad for worrying them! But he's only got tools like pain sharing and soul shattering at his disposal.

If I were you, and I wanted to show him he mattered to me, I'd look for ways to get him what he wants -- not what you would want, or what you think he should want, that's important -- and restore it to him if he loses it. Fight for him, not for you! And don't expect anything back. You're supporting him, not bargaining -- the object is for HIM to be happy.

Does that make sense?

You should have told me you were leaving the book and laptop outside the apartment. I wouldn't want your things to be stolen, since I'm just borrowing.

Also I'm still not done with my board. Don't you need this more?

those are yours. I thought Mana would leave em inside your place, not at the door. guess I wasn't specific enough with her.

[ ...It had been on purpose. And now he's getting the address anyway? Pfffft - Ryou, why,, ]

I'll resist this sudden desperate need to break in and move all your furniture precisely one inch out of place.

what'd you want me to get you? (is is something to knock you out, because you've clearly not slept enough)

[ This situation is still hilarious of course.

Just.
Also, sleep,, Ryou u need that,, ]

Edited 2021-07-13 07:35 (UTC)

[Excuse him?]

What?

Why would you do that? How much did you pay?! That wasn't necessary...

I

Thank you

that was very thoughtful.

[THOUGHTFUL. ???????]

Edited (html fffh) 2021-07-13 07:45 (UTC)

if you did i would possess you for an hour and perform community service.

I need some acrylics, i ran out of some primary colors and I'm making figures. And I also need mid and fine grit sandpaper.

Joke's on you, because i already tried sleeping. I just got rudely awoken.

So i'm finding thigns to do.

[...Son of a bitch, not again. He does need sleep. He sorely wants it, but he can't have it. So instead he's just having to own his typos. Ugh.]

*things

[ ...HM. ]

you could possess me anyway. sunlight isn't a problem if you're inside somebody, right?

[ He's only guessing, but... also though he's not fully thinking about that sentence phrasing. ]

I mean I know the paints you like, sure, but it'd give you something to do.

[The Ring-Spirit is saved, because Ryou doesn't live in the gutter. But he does live in a practical world sometimes, so.]

That's true but I'm not sure i want to risk accidentally separating because i'm very tired. seems like a stupid way to go.

You don't understnd how tired I am.

[NO ONE UNDERSTANDS RYOU'S PROBLEMS.]

It was a nice offer though. And if you don't want to get the paints you don't have to either.

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IC Inbox (ryslig)

<GODKING>

<Player1>

<GODKING>

<Player1>

<GODKING>

<Player1>

<GODKING>

<Player1>

<WhiteWizard>, close to the end of June

<GODKING>

<WhiteWizard>

<GODKING>

<Player1>

<GODKING> [cw: mention of suicide, reference to sorta suicidal ideation]

<Player1>

<GODKING>

<Player1>

<WhiteWizard> whenever the MW stuff shows up at his door

<GODKING>

<GODKING>

<WhiteWizard> 1/2

<WhiteWizard> 2/2

<WhiteWizard>

<GODKING>

<WhiteWizard>